new years and all that.

because i stalk her and chortle in glee when she posts, i am stealing perpetua's year-in-review. mainly because she made me laugh with her answers and i'm sure to not even come close to measuring up (which is bracing and humbling, and a testament to her writing skills) but i'm sure to think about some stuff and write about it, and since this is sort of my journal/procrastinatory mechanism/way of entertaining the masses, i can go ahead and do that.

ahem.

with no further adieu.

1.  What did you do in 2010 that you’ve often done, more times than you’d like to admit?


sat on the couch and watched hours of inane tv that helped me not one little bit to achieve any goals whatsoever, unless said goals are to become an obnoxious cake baker/reality cooking show contestant or to evaluate my birth plan with a new eye (oh wait...).


2. Why didn’t you keep your new year’s resolutions?

i refused to make them.  but i sure didn't reach my weight loss goal before i went and tacked on a couple dozen more pounds of fetus.  i did, however, learn to love exercise in a way that was almost unhealthy. i love body combat. i want to reunite with it as soon as humanly possible.  but i don't think that was really a resolution.

so, short story long: you have to make them to break them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth to something other than a baby?

i find this question weird. my husband writes songs, so yes. but i think babies are smashing, and they are everywhere, so take that, weird question.

4. Did anyone close to you kill someone?

uh, no. not that i'm aware of, and i'm not sure i'd want to be aware of it if they did. i did, however, witness a totally cliched and horrifying act of vehicle vandalism by a sizable (and i say that with respect as a mutual member of the Big Hips and Butt club) lady who was, i believe, drunk and angry at her ex-boyfriend. that's a story for another day (although it's not really that interesting, or it would lose something in translation) but it did make me sure that Other People do not respect the law and other people's stuff the way i think they do and should.

5. What states of disgrace did you visit?

facebook addiction (FA), pizza consumption (PA), self-flagellation (SF), and, of course, procrastination (PR)

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you also had in 2010?

my husband. my family. my assorted jobs (even though i complain about them copiously).  my house. my firmness in my faith. my health.

7. Etch-a-sketch your memories, or put them in a Trapper-Keeper?

i cannot, for the life of me, do anything other than draw a box on an etch-a-sketch, and hello with the non-permanence, so let's do trapper-keeper, but only if it's a cheesy one with a gorilla on the outside that says something inane like "i'm ape for you."

8. Fashion sense. Do you have one yet?

no.  i don't. pregnancy isn't helping.  i have three pairs of pants that fit.  the rest of them are just dreams.  some times i look almost cute, and then it disappears as quickly as it came. of course, i don't really think that is any different than any other day. i think my fashion sense is "sale casual" wherein i'd like to look really put together but i prefer to spend money on things like cheerios and the light bill.

also, did i mention i'm pregnant? yeah, i get to pick out clothes for some other person now. that's kind of an awesome gig.  i'm excited, but am totally aware that just about the time i figure out a fashion sense for Baby Girl, she'll start wearing rainboots and tutus together. i actually think that might be slammin', but whatever.  my point is, i'm not married to the activity.


9. It’s New Year’s Eve. A duck and a hippo walk into a bar. Discuss.

they're one of 10,000 people. does anyone really notice? 

8. If you measured your year by achievements and failures, would you weigh more or less?

more.  dissertated. defended. moved. graduated. gestated. taught.  it was a heavy year, in lots of ways.

9. Biggest fear last year?

losing the baby. after a scare at six weeks, i was a wreck for the first trimester.  i think before that, ironically, it was that we wouldn't be able to have one.  that was shattered by the "it only took me six weeks off the pill to get pregnant"ness of Baby Girl. i know how annoying that is to those who suffer with infertility, so i don't talk about it, but i was very afraid we would be one of those many.

10. Did you buy a lot of stuff?

i feel like we spent a lot of money, but for things like health insurance.  not exactly your WOOT sort of purchase. other than that, and food, i don't buy that much. i think i've bought more clothes/shoes in the last two months than i had purchased for myself in the previous two years (wedding paraphenalia notwithstanding).

11.  Squirrels and mice really can crawl through your pipes and into the toilet. It’s not an urban legend. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

oh my. scream very loudly, hire an excellent exterminator, and make my husband do a toilet check every single time.

or pee in a bucket. i'm not sure.

12.  Did you play the lotto? Did you win?

no way. don't gamble at all. never will.

13. You’re forced at gunpoint to dance a jig. What song is playing?

if it's at gunpoint, probably something really annoying but catchy. like ke$ha or pink.

14. Happier, thinner, richer, or Sadder, fatter, poorer?

happier, bigger, and maybe richer though i would say monetarily we're doing fine in the same way we did fine last year at this time, and that's just fine by me.  bigger is purposeful (though sometimes hard, i'll admit, to my self-image as a person who has lost a lot of weight previously, but the big belly and the more frequent kicks are totally beginning to wipe that away).  happier is inevitable with the life i've been blessed with.

15. If you could give up television, would you give up television?

yes, though my bad pregnancy habits of hours of insipid tv have made me mourn the fact that we're downgrading our cable to The Basic Plan (which consists of the basic channels, 4 shopping networks, and too much CSPAN).  netflix will save me, i am sure. i am consoled by the four seasons of psych that await me in my watch instantly queue.

which probably means...yes but no?

16.  See any good movies lately?

i saw FOUR MOVIES OVER BREAK. in, like, the theatres.  and more on DVD.  i'm sorry, but that's insanely exciting to someone who probably saw that many in the past year, maybe, in theatres.  sometimes, i just don't have the time. sometimes, i don't want to spend the short amount of time i do have with my husband in a movie theatre.  most of the time, i don't want to spend insane prices to see a movie i'm not sure will change my life.

but true grit was better than i thought it would be, as was red. you should see them, if only on netflix or via redbox. 

17. If you had to open either an elephant store or a cupcake store in 2011, which would you choose?


the answer is always cupcakes, says the gal who's sort of hoping to watch cupcake wars tonight, even though she knows her husband doesn't love it the way she does.  maybe a lasagna bribe will help?

18. Are you living in the future or the past?

so much in the future that it's a bit difficult to keep up with the present, if that makes any sense.

(actually, that makes deep philosophical sense and blows my mind. go me. you're welcome.)