the cursor mocks me.

there's a wide gulf, sometimes, between what's rattling around in my head and what i feel comfortable sharing on the internet for the entire world to see.  i think that's natural is this pseudo-hybrid-public-private model, and i don't mind it.  but the somewhat odd feeling comes when i feel the pull to write and the equally powerful pull to not write.  it's a strange gulf to navigate.

if i could find my journal, i would write in it, but i can't, so here i am.

(i think i may buy another one soon.  there's more and more frequently times when i find myself trying to bridge that gap.)

i began working on my syllabi for the fall today.  the public speaking ones are so easy, it's almost insane.  i almost feel bad.  but i don't. i feel ever-so-grateful for a shared syllabus.

i mainly began on the new class for local cc, which is supposed to be developed from this template that i got yesterday. it's an easy template to follow when it comes to scheduling--it's quite lovely, actually, and has the timelines and the major writing assignments all figured out.  i like that.  yes, please, do my thinking for me.

what it doesn't have is any indication of what wording needs to be in place for policies, procedures, etc.  i find that incredibly perplexing, since in the land of Collegetown U, such language is always proscribed and passed down from supervisor to teacher with much wailing and gnashing of teeth lest you forget a link or a paragraph on plagiarism.

so i guess i just have to figure it out, even though i've never worked for local cc before.

ANNOYING. sheesh. i have to do my own work?

it has, however, been nice to begin to slip back into the groove of things. seven weeks of vacation is just too much for me, although i have done quite a lot of good work on a massive crossstitch project that i bought a while back and i now have a pretty clear plan of what i want to do for my wedding scrapbook. that's exciting progress.

as i began to discover toward the end of last semester, i do better when i have projects. i believe i will keep at the crossstitch and at the scrapbooking as a way of clearing my mind and keeping my stress level down. it works; it really does.

the other thing i've done? watched nearly all three seasons of roswell.  it's not a great show, but it's easy and it gives me background noise (which, honestly, is a far slip back from where i had gotten last semester, when i was working without noise at all), and the Christmas episode from season three just made me cry, so there's that.

but i've lost the will to do anything related to housework. the laundry is still in unfolded piles from when i did it last week and the dishes continue to pile up.  i could have been very productive in terms of shredding the year's worth of credit card offers that have piled up or going through our closets and packing non-essential items into garbage bags, but i haven't and i won't until i absolutely have to, because that's how i roll.

but on my last day of "freedom," i'm looking forward to being a slave to a schedule again.  i'll still have plenty of time to do the things that i want to do, and the things that i need to do, but perhaps the craziness will kickstart the part of my brain that has dinner ideas.

because my only ones this week have been places that take debit cards.