confession.

i would like to be a fitness instructor someday.

i know it's ridiculous, i know i'll probably never do it, but the more i attend fitness classes and realize how much i love group exercise, i realize how much i would like to be strong enough and fit enough and good enough to be an instructor.

i've mentioned, briefly, the instructor that i would follow to the ends of the earth. she hasn't been superfriendly to me lately, not like she was in the beginning, and i wonder if it's a negative change in my form or abilities that is creating that, but that's neither here nor there.  she just seems so...accessible. she's not a crazy fitness freak. she's a mom, she's a wife.  she loves what she does, and obviously so, but she also messes up and she forgets the choreography, and she misses cues and i love that.

i don't think i've ever seen folks who taught classes as human before--not in this way.  instead, i always saw them as a different kind of being who were supernaturally strong and never poured down sweat during a class.

(my instructor does. if you go up to her after combat, she's just as nasty as the rest of us. i find that oddly comforting.)

but she's younger than me, certainly, and today's body pump class that she taught demonstrated to me that she has way more muscle tone than i probably ever will.

but i have to believe that, somehow, maybe it's not a bad dream to have.  perhaps it will help me keep working, help me realize that maybe i have something to give.  maybe i'll never get there, but maybe it will give me the confidence to keep working.

we all have pie-in-the-sky dreams.  this is mine, born only recently.  it won't ever happen, but there you go.

(and btw, my insane goal for the next two weeks is to do three body classes in one day: body pump at 6am, body combat at 1030am, and body flow at 705pm.  i want to do it next monday, so this week will be full of double classes to try to work up to it. i think i can do it, so stop worrying mom. :) )

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ps: a few of my friends and i have started a healthy living blog. there are a wide variety of contributors, including moms and singles and newly married, and a wide variety of perspectives, including "real food" and clean eating folks and those who are just trying to resist the siren song of ice cream. i'm hoping to post recipes and ways to make recipes more healthy.  we'd love to have your perspective too! you can find us at http://somaybemomwasright.blogspot.com/.