i spent most of my night tossing and turning, fighting through dreams that involved me somehow having left musicboy, though he was clearly still around, and dating other prospects for marriage.
my conscious mind was struggling with my subconscious mind all night.
i am exhausted. contrary to popular worldly belief, i get absolutely no pleasure in any sort of world where musicboy is not my number one guy. in fact, i don't really understand how women can fantasize about other men. i mean, i understand, but i don't at the same time. in addition to feeling like a skank with no loyalty, i can only imagine it would work to split two people apart.
that's not to say that i don't recognize and appreciate the aesthetic beauty that are some celebrity men, but i honestly can say that i'd much rather have musicboy than any one else. ever.
so when my subconscious wants to say otherwise, i get a little peeved.
in other news, i'm speaking in church tomorrow about the role of teachers. it's part of my (other) calling as a literacy instructor for the education committee. i have very little idea what to say. i have some ideas, but they keep swirling around and around in my brain without much discernable focus. i am hoping that will change before tomorrow, but it's possible that i'm going to go up there with just a few ideas and let the Spirit guide me.
that freaks me out, but i've done it before, so...there you go.
i should go work on that, probably.
have a good weekend, all.
Oh gosh, when I give talks I write every single word down. I've found that when I don't, when I try to look around and make eye contact like good speakers do, I just start rambling and not making sense and going off on tangents and forgetting the point I was even trying to make...I mean, I think that's how I talk in normal life anyways, but whatever. I've been doing a lot better going off the page for my lessons, I guess you kinda have to since you never know what someone will throw at you question- or comment-wise.
ReplyDeleteI've had so many bizarre dreams, and not one has proven to mean anything. If your brain is swirling junk floating through it around, something that seems obvious (leaving your husband) could really be worries about something else (I don't know, leaving the student life behind?). Don't worry, your brain is not a traitor any more than you are.
The end.