i spent most of my night tossing and turning, fighting through dreams that involved me somehow having left musicboy, though he was clearly still around, and dating other prospects for marriage.
my conscious mind was struggling with my subconscious mind all night.
i am exhausted. contrary to popular worldly belief, i get absolutely no pleasure in any sort of world where musicboy is not my number one guy. in fact, i don't really understand how women can fantasize about other men. i mean, i understand, but i don't at the same time. in addition to feeling like a skank with no loyalty, i can only imagine it would work to split two people apart.
that's not to say that i don't recognize and appreciate the aesthetic beauty that are some celebrity men, but i honestly can say that i'd much rather have musicboy than any one else. ever.
so when my subconscious wants to say otherwise, i get a little peeved.
in other news, i'm speaking in church tomorrow about the role of teachers. it's part of my (other) calling as a literacy instructor for the education committee. i have very little idea what to say. i have some ideas, but they keep swirling around and around in my brain without much discernable focus. i am hoping that will change before tomorrow, but it's possible that i'm going to go up there with just a few ideas and let the Spirit guide me.
that freaks me out, but i've done it before, so...there you go.
i should go work on that, probably.
have a good weekend, all.