Friday, April 2, 2010

the waiting place...*

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

sometimes, when you've thought something so many times and been proven so very, very, very wrong, you stop believing even yourself.

i find this an incredibly frustrating position to be in.  how can you not believe yourself? how can you not have faith in yourself? how can you not trust your instincts?

when they've been WRONG WRONG WRONG before. 

but when is the time when you stop doubting and start trusting? when do you believe it? 

faith is belief without seeing.  i believe in a lot of things without the benefit of sight.  i consider myself, at my core, to be a faith-filled person.  it carries me through things i don't understand, things i can't reconcile, things that are hard.  it has made me into who i am, and i am in awe of that process.

but when in one particular situation, i am waiting for sight.  i will not believe until i see.   even then, i may not believe it. 

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

it's the way it should be, i think.  but's hard to wait.   i'm stuck between beginning to really trust my instincts and waiting to have the rug pulled out on me again.  i think this is why faith is so important.  because this waiting stuff is for the birds.

That's not for you!

even dr. seuss says so.

so, even in this waiting place, i am not waiting around. i am, in fact, progressing quite nicely, if slowly, toward Big Goals.  it's an exciting thing to do, really, to see the end of something large in sight, to see the end of a chapter (literally and figuratively--ha!) before you. 

i like new beginnings.  they are nice.  they are the white walls of life waiting to be painted. they are the comfy chair for life-tired feet. they are the big present that you've been eyeing for two weeks and finally get to open on Christmas morning.  they are the cilantro of my life.

Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

shoot. i'll take those odds. any day.

*thanks, dr. seuss, for being awesome.  nobody can get me like you can. the italicized quotes are, of course, from oh the places you'll go. if you haven't read it lately, you need to.  kid, you'll move mountains!

1 comment:

  1. the waiting place sucks. i've been here for awhile, and i'm afraid i'm a little lost. But i'm slowly finding my way out.

    props to you for the fabulous use of my absolutely favorite book ever!! Happy Easter Weekend!