Monday, January 11, 2010


so sometimes i watch so you think you can dance. when i do, mostly i just follow my gut and determine, in my i'm-sitting-in-a-chair-and-have-no-expertise way, which of the couples did well and which were cringeworthy. most of the time i'm right, according to the alternating shrill/debonair/intelligent judges. 

but sometimes they start talking about partnering and i'm lost.

i mean, i know from my own experience how having a good partner can bring out the good elements in your own dancing, but i guess i never realized what a skill and art it is.  most of the time, the partnering is in the background--it's the stuff you don't see immediately that allows for the shining things you do to happen.

i think this is true in marriage as well.  if you haven't been accustomed to having a partner--if you've been a soloist for a while--sometimes it takes some time to learn how to be a partner.  i've been learning that lesson, of course, as one does when one is newly married, but mainly i've been learning how much of an art it is.

sometimes your partnering in the little things is what makes life bearable.  when your partner makes dinner because your back hurts.  when your partner lets you talk, nearly endlessly, about the potential pros and cons of the job you might apply for.  when your partner plans with you, when your partner stays longer at the gym with you because you are trying to reach a goal, when your partner can read your moods and your thoughts on a bad day and meets your needs before you can even articulate them. 

it's these little moments, that let me be successful when i don't think i can be, that let me shine. 

i'm glad to be learning and recognizing those moments, so that i can appreciate it even more than already do.

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