Monday, February 28, 2011

in what must only be described as monday morning delusions...

...i believe i am now planning to, once 36 weeks comes, to go back to body combat.  i miss it.  like, with my whole soul. i miss it.   i also, at that point, won't care about worrying anymore.  it's not going to hurt me, i'm likely not going to be able to do much, but for heaven's sake it might be therapeutic.

if i can't kick well, i can at least punch. and if i can't do that full out, which i likely won't be able to do, i can do it at 50%, which will be more than i've done in AGES.  and maybe it'll initiate some sort of baby boot camp to a) get myself ready for delivery and b) prove to myself that i can do something more active and c) convince myself that i will get my body back after the baby comes.

(that, in combination with periodic fears about delivery, is what i worry about now, since the numbers on the scale are frightening and i haven't seen them in YEARS. YEARS, I TELL YOU.)


  1. Do you want to talk about any of the delivery fears? It might help. Also, it makes complete sense that you are having these fears now. You are approaching the point where you no longer have to worry about keeping Baby Girl IN, so now your brain starts worrying about getting her OUT.

    Not that it makes it less scary, but it is normal.

    And body combat sounds like a good plan, because anything that makes you feel like you are strong and capable is a good way to attack those fears.

  2. Don't worry, you'll find out how strong you are. Unfortunately, that realization comes just moments after you are completely convinced of how weak you are. You got this.