...i believe i am now planning to, once 36 weeks comes, to go back to body combat. i miss it. like, with my whole soul. i miss it. i also, at that point, won't care about worrying anymore. it's not going to hurt me, i'm likely not going to be able to do much, but for heaven's sake it might be therapeutic.
if i can't kick well, i can at least punch. and if i can't do that full out, which i likely won't be able to do, i can do it at 50%, which will be more than i've done in AGES. and maybe it'll initiate some sort of baby boot camp to a) get myself ready for delivery and b) prove to myself that i can do something more active and c) convince myself that i will get my body back after the baby comes.
(that, in combination with periodic fears about delivery, is what i worry about now, since the numbers on the scale are frightening and i haven't seen them in YEARS. YEARS, I TELL YOU.)