this weekend, i decided to put away the piles of papers that i had to do and focus on being the wife i wanted to be. there was no mandate from musicboy that i do this--far from it, actually. he would have been quite pleased to have me spend my time doing what would make me less stressed.
but it was valentine's day weekend, and i had plans. and for those plans to work out as i imagined them, the house needed to be neat and tidy, a place where peace could reign and where we could spend time together without me getting twitchy over the mess. the kitchen had to be clean so that i could bake and cook. there needed to be time for me to make little things for valentine's day and for me to get ready for musicboy's concert/dance.
so i did all those things. i powercleaned, task-oriented as all get out, and i baked and i went to body combat and i felt amazingly powerful and i went to the dance and stayed the whole time even though i thought that i might leave early to wade back into those piles of papers.
valentine's day dawned and i had french toast for breakfast, courtesy of musicboy (seriously--add nutmeg and cinnamon. AMAZING, even with light multigrain bread). we went to church. we came home and i began cooking. i made lamb and roasted red potatoes and broccoli and french bread rolls (the lamb was pretty good, the potatoes were awesome, broccoli was good, and the rolls came out well enough and fast enough that the recipe will now go into my cookbook) and the most amazing dessert ever. devil's food cake with chocolate covered strawberries and a melted chocolate topping. it was YUMMY, but i made a small enough one that it wouldn't hang around for years.
(i just ate the last of it. sigh.)
it was a lovely day. musicboy wrote me a song and, as he sang it, i cried. somehow he managed to say, in that song, everything that i needed and wanted to hear. we watched a movie last night, ending a day that we spent entirely together. there were no pressures, no worries. just us together.
i woke up this morning still loving the day and wanting more of it. i definitely did not want to go back to real life after having felt so utterly successful at the wife life i lived this weekend.
as i was walking back to my car today after class and office hours, having to hobble along because my shoes were giving me a blister, i realized that that peaceful, fulfilled feeling from the weekend came back. the weather was chilly but the sun was out, and there were very few people around. it was lovely and i was taking the time to actually pay attention.
and i realized that maybe that's something that i need to remember, that maybe that's what i need to strive for. perhaps slowing down, regardless of the chaos that surrounds me, is the answer. perhaps slowing down is what allows me to get back in touch with all that seems to slip away when i'm so task-oriented.
maybe slowing down, even for ten minutes as i walk across campus in the winter sunshine, is what lets me get everything else done.