Monday, February 22, 2010

i don't like mondays.

i found an apartment that i really want for us.  we're looking to upgrade so that we can stay in a place for longer than a lease term, so that we won't grow out of it immediately when we have a kid. 

i almost typed if but it's not really an if but a when, so i changed it. you're welcome.

it's a ridiculous steal. it's in a rundown little neighborhood, but rundown in a i put my car on blocks and don't rake my leaves, not a i shoot you for your gps kind of way. it's steps away from a grocery store and a target, both of which could be very bad.  or very good. i'm not sure. 

it's something like over 1000 square feet, which would literally double our living space.  it's cute, even though i haven't seen it in person except from the outside. i couldn't bring myself to park and nose around the open windows even though i did manage to skulk by driving, stopping to just gaze at it longingly.

i want it.

with it comes a vision of the future that seems just around the bend.  we should probably hear about musicboy's admission news in a few weeks--i'm guessing by the middle of march. that's when real decisions get made.  that's when leases can be signed and plans can be made and classes can be agreed to.  i look forward to those days.

i'm not the kind of girl who likes to wait around. i like to carefully put my ducks in a row, plan until i can't plan anymore, and picture the changes that are coming before i have to make them. it helps get me over the hump sometimes. if i know that things are changing, it's easier for me to deal with the here and now. 

new things are always exciting. 

in the meantime, we wait.  there's absolutely nothing we can do now except wait.  musicboy did very well, and the feedback he got was very good.  all signs point to good news, but you never can tell.  surprises have been the rule in my life, so anxiety and nervousness and excitement have all coalesced into one big pit in my stomach.

whatever happens will happen, and it will be to our benefit.  i am not at all unclear about that. 

so much is changing, and so much is not.  that's so true in so many things right now. 

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