i feel like i have the worst PMS on the planet.
you're welcome and happy monday to you as well.
i must have had some kind of serious spike in estrogen, or else Baby is the most empathetic soul on the planet and is thus channeling said Christ-like feeling through me, but i just cry at the drop of a hat on behalf of puppies, kittens, band members, and (of course) myself.
it's rather ridiculous, until i feel MIGHTILY.JUSTIFIED. about it, and then it seems VERY very important. like everyone should feel as i do that THAT WASN'T RIGHT and thus the world should bow in honor of my astute wisdom and justice.
yeah, i'll let you guess how often that happens.
why i compare it to PMS is that it seems to turn on a dime. one hour i'm feeling fine, the next i am sadfaced clown. it's kind of annoying, it's kind of ridiculous, it's a little bit funny when it isn't SO.VERY.SERIOUS, and i hope it ends soon.
this weekend was my birthday, and i got spoiled and then the second half of my birthday day i spent by myself watching my team lose. it was a rather depressing end to the day, and when my dear sweet musicboy came home and told me that, after losing, the football team didn't come over the band (as is their home game tradition) for the fight song and for the alma mater, the slow burn began.
at first i was like "not cool, man. not cool." but it was also midnight and i think because i had eaten not good food all day and been fighting a migraine all afternoon, i couldn't really get a fight too ferocious on.
that is, until the next morning, when i began to think about it some more and began to feel tremendously offended on behalf of all people everywhere who sacrifice for something, show up and do their job, and get shafted. i made allusions to how life is about how you treat the people who serve you (comparing, somehow, the marching band to waiters?) and then i started to cry about it. musicboy agreed with me, in principle if not in passion, and said "well, we'll keep showing up and doing what we do." and that's why i love the man.
but i was very offended for a while. and then that sort of morphed into just a general state of sadness about life and the world, combined with the tremendous sense of overwhelmageness i get every sunday because ohmygosh the week begins tomorrow and i am far from ready.
so yesterday was sort of rough, though i snapped myself out of it enough to have a pleasant enough afternoon until i ate three birthday cupcakes and my body said "oh thank you, idiot, now comes the feeling like death from sugar overload" (why can i not remember that?) and then a night of not sleeping well from back pain.
so, i just feel all off-kilter today, which may actually be an emotional byproduct of the fact that everything in my body is changing tremendously fast (though i see very little of it) and so i should probably just cut myself some slack. one of my three goals this week is to be kind to myself and listen to my body.
today, i think i will choose me.
that's hard for me to do, but i feel like it's important. sometimes you have to baby yourself emotionally by just giving yourself a break. when the world is too much, sometimes you have to just go home and watch matlock.
and schedule some time for some prenatal yoga (hooray for amazon dvds over the weekend).
sometimes life is hard work, you know?