Monday, October 4, 2010

week 13: dream a little dream of me.

once upon a time, i read an old wives' tale about how if you dream about one gender, it means that you're having the opposite. upon trying to find said website, i can't find it and everything that i have found indicates that, actually, your dreams have no meaning whatsoever.

but last night's meant something to me, only because it was my first about our Baby.

he was a boy (which is the prevailing wisdom in our extended family, though i have no idea).  he was beautiful and i was amazed at how advanced he was. i mean, the kid was super newborn but was walking and talking in full sentences. i remember saying to musicboy in my dreams "look at him! he's walking and talking!" and thinking how fast he was developing.

(hmm.  perhaps a bit of a reflection of the pregnancy itself?)

but the kid wouldn't eat.  i was breastfeeding in the dream, and the kid had the worst attention span EVER. it wasn't that he was having trouble eating or that he couldn't or that i couldn't--it was that he would eat for like two minutes and then be JUST! SO! EXCITED! about life that he would have to go run around and do other things.

it was kind of adorable, in a perplexing mother-anxious way.  i just kept thinking "this kid really does need to eat" but also looking at him like he was the cutest thing in the whole world.  it reminded me of musicboy, and i think i thought "wow. you're distractable like your daddy."

it was sort of awesome, rather comforting, and exciting if only because i was a mommy and there was a Baby and he was cute, healthy, and smart.  i felt peace, even amid the non-eating, and that was nice.

i've heard lots of things about having nightmares about the baby. i think i've already had one or two.  but this one? this was peace. this was lovely.

i hope it's a sign of things to come.

(although, girl or boy, i'll be happy. i know that annoys some people (hi, saf!), but it's really true.  i always thought i'd have a preference. i'm trying not to even think about it, because whoever this Baby is, this Baby is ours. it doesn't matter at all. although, we are in more agreement about girl names than we are about boy. i haven't even really been able to think about boy names. which means, i think, that this Baby is a boy--that would be so typical. :) )

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