Thursday, October 21, 2010

dear baby: your dad.

dear baby,

you haven't met him yet, but you have the best dad in the whole world.  how do i know? because he's probably the best guy in the whole world.  he has his flaws--we all do--but his flaws are things like being distractable or not noticing the dishes.  they're not important in any way to the really essential things about life. 

he's probably the kindest person you'll ever know. i sincerely hope you take after him in this way. he never meets a person that he doesn't like. sometimes, when i'm not sure about someone, i ask him if he likes that person and why. when i do, i begin to see that person through his eyes, and that helps me to make a much better decision. see, you'll learn this about me, but i'm not always the nicest person in the world. i try very hard to be, but i have to try very hard to be. your daddy doesn't. he was born to love, and the world is so much better off because of it.

he easily forgives.  this is good for both of us, let me tell you, because we'll both mess up--probably big time sometimes. and daddy? he just takes it in stride. even when we've done something dumb, when we apologize, he takes it and moves on.  he one hundred percent emulates the Savior like that. he will teach you more about forgiveness and repentance than you might think, so pay attention.

and he's fun, baby. he makes life fun, even when it's crazy. i think you'll like how much daddy sees the fun in life and how much he can make a game or a good time out of even what seems like the most mundane, annoying, monotonous nonsense.  it doesn't matter what it is, he always makes it better.  you'll like that.  he'll be a fun dad.

but he's serious about what's important, and he'll never let you forget that.  he'll put what's right for you first, even if you don't like it, but he'll always explain why it's important.  i really like that he can do this, that he's already practicing how to that.  he wants to make sure that you know why we want you to do what's right, why it's important to do the things that Heavenly Father wants us to do.  i love that.  he won't be one of those dads who just says "because i said so!"  he'll be humble and kind enough to teach you--and there's no greater gift that he can give you.

did you know your daddy is ridiculously talented? as soon as you have ears that can hear, i'm sure he'll be playing one of his many instruments in your general direction--or just singing to you. music, to him, is food and air and breath and life. it's what makes him tick, it's what he's best at. just like i love books, and will probably already make you crazy with reading before you even join us, daddy loves music.  some days you might wish that he's be home instead of at band camp, or some days you might wish that he didn't practice his trombone when you wanted to watch TV.  i understand--i've definitely felt the same way at times. but remember what i do: he's extraordinary, and we're so blessed to know someone so talented.  it's a testimony of the fact that we all come here with gifts and talents, and that it's our job to find them and use them. daddy found his, and he uses it every day.  when he sings to you, be glad to hear it.  when he plays for you, be grateful that he's your daddy. not everyone has a dad so extraordinary.

he loves the hugs and kisses, baby, and he loves the idea that there might come a day when you might not love it.  i just have to warn you--we won't be afraid to embarrass you, if embarrassing you means that we show you how much we love you and how much you are treasured. we are also not afraid to use our crazy willingness to do whatever you DON'T want us to do in public, in front of your friends, to make sure you do things our way. that seems manipulative.  we don't mean it that way.  we just...see it as incentive for you to comply with things that you might otherwise forget about. 

say, for example, that you're 15 and out with your friends, and we ask you to call when you arrive so that we know that you're safe and so that we know what time you will be home. if you're anything like your daddy, dear baby, you might forget because there's something more exciting going on. we understand this, but we also want you to understand how important it is to be considerate and to follow the rules, even if you don't understand them or if they don't seem important to you.  so, we might set forth some consequences. other parents might think that not calling would be worth a grounding or losing privileges. we think it might be awesome to just show up where we know you'll be (because we will always know where you are and who you're with) and smother you with hugs and kisses, proclaiming loudly and most dramatically "oh, MY SWEET BABY, we thought you were dead! when you didn't call, we just HAD TO COME DOWN HERE and see for ourselves that you were okay.  oh, baby, we remember when you were born and how you used to do (insert embarrassing baby story or pet name here) and we just COULDN'T not know where you were!"

it's just a plan, but it's a quintessential mommy and daddy plan. be warned. we have a sense of humor, and we're not afraid to use it--and daddy's probably the ringleader of them all.  he's not afraid to embarrass you, to put you out, to make you work, or to give you pause if it means it teaches you a lesson.

i will teach you, every day, to appreciate and love your dad for exactly who he is.  he's a treasure, even if you can't or won't always see it.  that's my job--to show you.  i'll keep reminding you, even when the two of you don't see eye to eye, that you are one blessed baby to have such an incredibly strong and righteous father.

our job is to love him with our whole heart. he deserves that plus so much more.  we'll keep working at it, right baby? 

we can't wait to meet you!

love, mommy.


  1. If there were "like" buttons on this blog, I would Like this a million times over.

  2. I would like Lindsay's comment.

    I definitely will be making a book of letters for my future children.

  3. this made me cry. it is so special to know a couple so much in love. your baby is gonna be so blessed to have you two.