We are pleased to inform you that you have passed your audition for admission into the [Collegetown U] School of Music.
[blah blah blah you're amazing so we're placing you in this class which is exactly where you wanted to be for music theory blah blah blah we have no money so we can't give you a scholarship blah blah blah you'll be advised about registration at the summer preview session blah blah blah send us back this letter so a spot will be reserved for you in trombone studio]
The Head of Collegetown U's School of Music.
it came after a week of waiting, after a week of wondering, after a few days of worrying, after some praying, and after decisions were already made.
i got the mail in the sprinkling rain, almost shocked that what my mom told me was absolutely true: when we made the decision, when we followed the spirit, we would get the news.
we signed the lease yesterday to our new place.
she was right.
when i saw it, it was another testament to me that the Lord is mindful of us and knows when we need to exercise some faith. when we desperately need to put our hand in His and do what He says instead of what might kind of make sense to someone else.
musicboy was at work. i texted him to ask if he wanted me to come there so he could read it. he didn't answer. i called. straight to voicemail. i left to do some errands, calling again 15 minutes later. he had only just gotten the mesages. by then, as i sat stopped at a red light, i had tried to read through the envelope and had seen word combinations that only meant one thing.
i fistpumped, yelled, and then quickly cried a little, overwhelmed with an odd mixture of gratitude, relief, and a great deal of pride.
when musicboy and i finally connected, him sitting in my car in the rain and opening this letter that means so much, i was so happy for him. he's in.
and he turned to me and thanked me for helping him get in. i scoffed a little and said "how?" but in that moment, i knew.
i've been thinking lately that maybe the work that i do, the volume of which sometimes paralyzes me with a claustrophobic weight, is more important than i give it credit for. we all know that the work that mothers do is important, that the work of some jobs is essential. yes, teaching is important. i know that. but i mean more than that. i mean maybe everything that i do--the effort that i put forth, the dishes that i do, the laundry that i hate and yet grit my teeth and do anyway--means something more than the money it earns.
maybe it's more.
as musicboy said that to me, i realized that it is. and when i said "then it's all worth it," i meant it. and i headed off to the laundromat, laptop in hand. i washed everything we own and graded response papers with a lighter heart.
our little family is on a roll.