deep thoughts from a mall walker.

so baby girl and i have started walking the mall, if by started you mean we've done it twice. i really like it, actually. it forces us to get out, it gives baby girl some exposure to loud sounds, and it usually (when i time it beautifully) results in her learning how to nap on the go.

these are all good things.

she also becomes my little workout timer. she, right now, doesn't nap more than about half an hour in motion (either because she doesn't need it or because she can't get comfortable enough in her seat), and it takes her about a lap around the mall to fall asleep. so i have to keep going for at least as long as she naps, which ends up being usually around 40-50 minutes total because when she wakes up, she's usually pretty content and still sort of dopey for a good 5-10 minutes.

right now, it works (and it's air conditioned!).

as i was walking my four laps (that's how long i can go in 50 minutes) around the entire mall (little outlying sections included), i was thinking the following:

• every time i see teenage girls at the mall, usually all dressed up and carrying little bags from some shop that they bought something at, i am thrust back to my early teenage years when the mall was like mecca and you dressed your best to go there. compare that to now, when i had my unwashed hair thrust up into a messy bun covered by a dirty ballcap, paint splattered fat pants, and a stained Oxford University shirt on, and you can see how things change.
• i'm pretty sure that this mall walking escapade is a little bit like aversion therapy. if i can walk repeatedly by cinnabon and become, at some point, immune to the smell of those 1000 calorie behemoths of cinnamon awesome (i'm not joking--1000 calories EACH), i can do anything. next step: becoming immune to the idea of a fruit smoothie/lemonade. once i've conquered any of those temptations, i'm pretty sure the only thing left is the pretzel place (meh) and the subway (uhm, a viable choice).
• i want to know how teenagers can afford to have multiple large, full bags from abercrombie. who subsidizes these trips? and is it really necessary? this mom thinks NO.
• dear boy who can't be more than 15 wearing a shirt that says "i like party girls.": no. <3 every mother everywhere.
• i now seem to have mom radar. i notice every stroller with a mom, inevitably comparing myself to them. i see some similarities merely by the age of the kids. toddler? they look put together, like they actually had time in the morning to shower and straighten (!) their hair.  older baby? looking pretty good, but a little bit less j. crew and a little more target, like it's good they have real pants on. i like these moms.  you don't see a lot of infant moms, but when you do, they look like me--a bit bedraggled, with flip flops on usually and a weary sort of tired walk.  when we see each other, i like to imagine we share a compassionate smile because we know that we're in the same boat. solidarity, sisters.
• the mom radar extends to little girls.  i just seem to notice them more now.  
• the mom radar also extends to teenage girls. they frighten me.  so does every storefront in america. heaven help us all.
• i do not understand people who bring their two/three/four year olds to the pedicure place with them. yes, moms should be able to do things for themselves. they should not put their kids on a couple of chairs in the doorway of a small place in the mall and make them sit there while they get their heels buffed. it's just...wrong.  that said, i walked by those kids like three times, and heck if they weren't the best behaved kids i'd ever seen.  nice going, kids.  
• i really hate slow walkers.  

i'm sure i'll have more. stay tuned.