Wednesday, July 20, 2011

mommy round-up.

i have a few questions for you moms out there, if you don't mind. 
  • so, the baby is going through this thing where eating is such a chore. i'm not sure if it's because of her teething (the gum is SO BUMPY. just pop through already) or if it's developmental (have read that many babies do this at this stage) or if it's just her eating habits now. it seemed to have started after her 12 week growth spurt, when she was eating ALL OF THE TIME but not huge amounts. now it's nearly impossible to get her to eat more than 2.5 ounces at at time (i.e. she'll eat until she's not dying of the hungries, then stop and twist and turn and writhe and behave as if we were shoving bamboo shoots up her fingernails, then she'll be happy and play a little, and then maybe get a little bit fussy a little later and want more. most of the time i just keep offering her the bottle off and on during a 45 minute period.) i work really hard for her to get a full feeding in each time, but there are some times when she only eats 2 ounces. and it's making me nuts. she gets the same amount of ounces in each day (she's usually around 28, sometimes more sometimes a little bit less), so i know she's getting the amount that she needs (no worries about weight gain here) but WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!? i keep thinking "is this kid going to always eat like this? is mealtime ALWAYS going to be a struggle?" because, really, i just want to smack myself in the face half of the time.  also, i can't tell you how annoying it is to waste so much formula because she decides not to eat it.  anybody experienced this? any words of wisdom? should i be concerned or just get over it? i'm inclined to just get over it, though in the back of my head i have the "bad habit! bad habit!" red light of doom going off.

  • a couple of times over the past couple of weeks, when someone new has tried to hold her, she screams. other times, she seems entirely fine.  both times, we were around, so it's not like she was by herself with no one that she knew. the only common denominator between the screaming times was that she was tired.  should i be freaked out that my kid is going to be one of those annoying kids who won't go to anyone else? i'm not really sure how i'm supposed to combat this when i'm at home with her every day all day. yes, i could go places and do things more, does that help her become happy with relative strangers? i have read that this, too, is a developmental thing (4 months = happy crazytown of developmental stages, mom!), but should i be worried? and how do you go about socializing a 4 month old? i mean, really. playdates, i guess? a parade of new people? maybe we should just go to the mall in the moby and people watch. i have no idea.  i don't want her to become some sort of reclusive, shy kid, but she's always been very sensitive too.  

mommying is perplexing sometimes! but we're doing okay. we're making it.  i still want to smash my face into the wall in the more frustrating moments, but i've taken to praying for patience more frequently, and it works. heaven knows she's not doing it intentionally, so any frustration comes from the mismatch of her body's needs and my expectations.  


  1. In my limited experience, both of these things are normal and will pass on their own. At least that's how my little one was.

    The feeding thing I totally think is from being distracted and wanting to explore and observe. There is just way too much other cool stuff to see and do to be eating! I'd suggest feeding her in a quiet non-distracting place. If you've been feeding her while watching tv, turn it off and see if that helps. That should help some.

    My little miss was the same way about strangers too, and this is my take on it. She's still really young and forming super secure attachments to you and musicboy, at a certain point she will feel self-confident enough from those attachments to venture off to the arms of someone unfamiliar. Until then, keep trying occasionally and if she doesn't like it take her back. No biggy. Eventually she will reach for people she wants to hold her, and then you'll know if she's cool with going to someone or not. This is really nice info to have!

    You are NOT forming bad habits on either point. She will grow out of both on her own time, when she's ready. At least that's been my experience:) It is frustrating, but hang in there, you're doing a great job!

  2. I don't have a lot to add because every situation is so individual, but I just wanted to affirm that at this stage, almost nothing will fall into the "always" category. Pretty much everything is part of a stage and will eventually be outgrown. Some "personality" traits will remain, but the behaviors will ebb and flow as she develops. If you do find, down the road, that some negative behaviors have "stuck," you'll use your ever-developing mommy instinct to come up with a plan to unstick it. :)

  3. I wish I had something more useful to share on the subject of feeding than "I hear you," but that's really all I've got. We were there, and it was terrible, and I worried all the time, but eventually he grew out of it. I just...wish I could hug you, because, oy, that was such a difficult, mind-bending time. But it will get better.

    As for socializing: M sounds completely normal, and exactly like E at that age. E was/is shy and sensitive, but once he started walking, he got a lot more comfortable with walking up to people, investigating, making friends, etc.