Friday, March 18, 2011

why i'm glad i'm not natalie portman.

so i was just perusing, where i will admit i spend more time on the entertainment page than on the world page (don't judge me, man) but do try to keep up with what's going on in the world (although i will admit that i can't really handle the DOOM! and IMMINENT DESTRUCTION AWAITS! tone of most news about japan right now. i prefer the stories of 4 month old babies found in wreckage and returned to parents who survived stories that make me remember that life is GOOD), and i saw a picture of selma blair that was obviously taken by a paparazzi outside some random place like a grocery store and for which she was obviously not really prepared.

(i am reading body language, people. it's not that hard.)

selma blair is pregnant, like me. she's not as pregnant as me yet, but she's getting there.

and suddenly, i was like OHMYGOSH.  how awful must it be to know that, at any moment, you could be snapped and on the cover of US Weekly with one of those horrible headlines like "when actresses go outside and look hideous" or something more catchy but equally humiliating.

let me tell you. on monday i went to the drugstore with dirty hair pulled up in a ponytail bun, my pajama pants on, with a shirt that i'm pretty sure was entirely stained.  i literally went outside in my pajamas.  i didn't care.

i will admit, however, that if clinton and stacy did a pregnancy what not to wear, i would make for some freakin' awesome tv. 

but if your job was to be natalie portman or someone else who is glamorous all of the time, it would be exhausting. you'd have to be so pretty all of the time. and sometimes, nobody wants to be pretty when they're gestating.

of course, if i was an oscar winner, i'd probably have more maternity clothes and a personal assistant.  so i probably wouldn't have to go to the drugstore. 

hmm.  but still.

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