a month of this, and you'd be pretty quiet too.

two pink lines on august 4th at approximately 5am has made me loathe to talk about anything until i see a little heart beating on a screen somewhere.

that day should be tuesday, but i can't really keep it to myself anymore.

for a long time i was scared, then superstitious, then overly cautious.

but now the burden of knowing what i know and what's coming and having SO MANY QUESTIONS without anyone to ask them of is wearing quite thin.

plus, we told our parents basically that day and my mom has been dying to tell everyone on the sweet green planet ever since, so i called her a night or so ago and told her that she was free to start leaking the information.

and then i immediately felt compelled to be like ACK.  so i told my old roommates.  it was like pulling the bandaid off a little at a time.

then i let a hint drop in another blog post somewhere else, a hint that no one picked up on thankyouverymuch.

gah.

now i've just decided that, whatever, i'm talking but i'm not talking loud until tuesday. 

so here's me not talking loud, but telling you that it's been the most anxious, nauseous, surreal, mindblowing, and long month of my life.

definitely more to come.