Wednesday, September 1, 2010

i'm officially sick...of myself!

i've had a cold for like five days. nowsaboutthetime when i just get sick to death of myself, the way i am when i'm sick, and especially of being sick.

but mainly i just get sick of sitting around, whining (although i think i've done comparatively little whining this time, at least out loud) and acting all woe is me.

but the kicker is that i don't yet have the full energy to do everything that i need to do.

(quite honestly, i haven't had that energy for AGES.)

i just have enough energy to get annoyed and get on the internet.  but at least it's a start.  i feel ambition coming on for the weekend. though i'll have to moderate my ambition and break it into bite-size pieces, so as to not kill myself, i think i'll have a go at the heap of prep work i have left for my online classes (it would be bliss if i could get those things done) and the cesspool that is my house.

somehow, i thought that having a washer and a dryer and a dishwasher would make the chores easier.  i have to keep reminding myself that you actually have to put things in said appliances and turn them on to make magic happen. 


my poor husband. he's just...slammed.  i don't know how else to describe it.  marching band takes up 10 hours a week, but it's a 1 credit class. he's taking two classes where he has to learn another instrument, which means that he is currently responsible for playing 4 instruments. 

he also has, you know, other classes, including a theory class that is just demanding.   and the TA didn't return his email about a perfectly legitimate question about the assignment, which just rankles me five ways to sunday because, you know, i have like a 24 hour turnaround time and sometimes catch crap from students. 

(sometimes i think i really don't recognize how good i am at things.)

such is junior year.

once his semester began, i began to remember how much i have always loathed junior year. it's evil. it was my worst year in high school and by far my worst in college.  my third year of the phd sucked too.  it's just that icky uncomfortable transition year, when everyone seems intent on making it abundantly clear that you don't know jack and that you'll never succeed.

it doesn't last, which is the good news, but it sucks big time in the midst of it.

and i got him sick.  poor guy.

if i had the energy, i'd make him some kind of amazing dinner.  instead, the best i could do was pack a lunch and a dinner snack for when he works until 9pm tonight. 

oy vey, fall.  i'm just begging you to stop being a beastface.


have you ever noticed how classes have personalities? i have noticed this, especially at collegetown u.  it's like each class is a person, with its own distinct set of tendencies and quirks.

two of my classes are fairly awesome, easy-going and nice to be around. they are both held in the same room, though (obviously) at different times.

the other is just...antagonistic.  i think that's really because of the VERY STRONG personalities of a few of the people who i was choosing to give attention to (because i genuinely like the rest of them...they seem like people i would like outside in the world) but nevertheless...they come across as almost claustrophobically confrontational.

that class is held in a cave of a room, and i'm beginning to think that if that class was held in my other room, i might be less feeling like they are crawling up into my personal space and more like they are just them. 

an interesting phenomenon, i think.

i have no theory for why my local cc class refuses to talk or would openly admit to not reading on the basically the 2nd day of class when they were required to read, but there you go.

also, i believe that my level of email has exploded exponentially.  i don't remember getting this much email from ANY set of classes at any point this early in the semester.  i now have three institutional email addresses, so i feel like half my day is spent on email. 

(that's a blatant lie, but there you go.)

how can so many people have so many questions so early?

and why on earth don't they read the DANG SYLLABUS? i've had like three people try to turn a paper in more than a week early.  they don't read the syllabus, they don't read the assignment sheet, and they wonder why i send slightly snarky emails at the beginning of week 2.

anyone who's written a syllabus knows it's not a cakewalk.  it's not really that fun.  it's annoying and why do i bother if you're not going to read it?

there should really be some sort of basic requirements before beginning a class--the first of which is that everyone understands that they have to read the directions.


right now, i love 98% fat free hot dogs and french fries. i do, however, keenly feel the absence of mustard and relish in my house.  right now, i do not love vegetables. i do okay with fruit (megaprops to some yummy cherries and unsweetened applesauce, which might be the best thing ever) but me and broccoli have been at odds of late. i can down a salad occasionally, and i like when vegetables are a part of things i eat (like soup...somehow i like soup lately) but crossing the vegetable divide is proving difficult.

i'm beginning to wonder if i'd do better with raw broccoli and some ranch dressing.  everything's better with ranch dressing, and broccoli is a slammin' superfood.  maybe i'll make it my goal in life today to eat a serving or two of broccoli. 

you should do that too.


though i haven't been to the gym in more than two weeks, i have eaten only the serving size of my ben & jerry's bogo purchases and put it promptly back into the freezer when my serving size is done. and i have recorded all my food.

i win.


august has been overwhelming and challenging and wonderful and mean and bodyslamming.  i welcome september and its excitement and settling influence and routine.  i think september is going to be good to us.  i think it's going to be very good.


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