Wednesday, October 14, 2009

guilt is not essential.

that is what i learned from this.

let me back up a little.

i found this blog through my google reader. i subscribe to a couple of blogs that fall under the umbrella of mormon mommy blogs but, as i'm far from a mormon mommy, it seemed a stretch even for me. but i like the way the blog poses thought-provoking questions and topics of relevance not only to mommyhood but living the gospel every day.


i was feeling pretty overwhelmed on monday, needing to grade a million papers that i had procrastinated and not understanding how it was all going to happen.  that's when this blog post hit my reader and every line felt like it was directed to me.

i think we all have those revelatory moments, when something seems destined to speak right to us. sometimes it's a song that absolutely captures our feelings. sometimes it's a novel that contains a character that behaves just like us.  in those moments, i think we sometimes attribute that connection to art, creativity, or some other abstract human idea.

i don't.  i know exactly where it comes from.

it comes from a Heavenly Father who loves me.

when you're hit by a revelatory moment that is divine in origin, you don't ignore it.  unless, you know, you just want cosmic pianos to drop on your head.

so i'm making my to-do lists differently now, and while i haven't made huge inroads into my "like to do" lists, i have gotten the things done that i needed to get done and i've noticed that my days are much brighter. and i'm realizing that i'm listening less to the voice that tells me that i'm not enough.

i don't know why the world is suddenly brighter and why i feel so much happier. it's like a physical reaction, genuinely. 

but i like it. i'll keep it.

1 comment:

  1. I wish I had the book on hand so I could title it and directly quote it, but there is this AWESOME book on relationship advice that was made by some WACKED OUT religious organization that my fellow staff members found on our AMAZING book collection for the teenagers. Sometimes, for comic relief we sit and read passages from it. Our favorite thus far was this passage about how guilt is essential in a relationship because it draws you closer to God. Basically, it is apparent that people who are happy and think they are doing okay are clearly sinners.

    The next best passage was the one about how the reason men have communication problems is that they use all their words at work and then have nothing left for their wives at home. The advice was that men should try and talk less at work.

    There was also an old LDS tape on chastity in the VHS collection. I love my job.