Wednesday, August 17, 2011

lots of things.

there's a lot going on here in our house this week. it's the week before school begins and, among other things, i have an online class that just started (i can really barely remember it and it's one that i have to post on every day) and six more that are about to start on monday.

i know.

baby girl is adorable and perplexing and ate 9 ounces in an hour last night (woke up SCREAMINGBLOODYMURDER for the last 2 after she'd been asleep for oh 30 minutes). i just...yeah. apparently this is UBER common right now in developmental 4 month land, or so say my pals on the internet baby board. that is comforting, because i was freaked out last night. 

but she's also taller than she was a week ago (her jammies are fitting like they were made for her--and they're 9 month sleepers), so there's that.

i mourn the lack of time that i have to do any project whatsoever. i have so many plans, so many things that i want to do in our house. i want to organize our closets and move things around and get rid of things and just be able to have like 4 or 5 hours where i don't have to grade or plan or be on baby duty.  my non-baby-duty time is almost exclusively spent working, but that's going to have to change because this child is about to be mobile and our house is like Baby House of Horrors. there are so many things that i need to do to get it baby proofed.

and then so many things i need to do to keep it baby proofed.


musicboy saw an ad for winning a sweepstakes that would give us like $70,000 for redecorating. i said that i would hire a personal organizer, someone who could build us things that would hold everything that we have in a babyproofed, organized way, structures that we could move with us wherever we go.

he looked at me askance.

but that's where my head is at. 

that and the fact that i am SO OVER COLLEGETOWN U. i got an online class from them. i am grateful for it, i suppose, but i am consistently annoyed at how these departments expect the world from their instructors but then do not provide any means by which to achieve said world domination. i am expected to upload tutorials/lectures, but the software available to me is insanely difficult and, i am deciphering, doesn't even do what i thought it did. so i am plunking down $100 for a piece of screencasting software that might actually work for my purposes. i tried out the free demo and within 15 minutes had figured out how to create a movie with screenshots and audio.

you know, i just feel like the money's not worth it. not for the annoyance and stress. as if i don't have enough to do, you know? now i have to read your mind, decipher your nonsense, and make a bunch of crap happen that doesn't make any sense at all? whatever. so over it.

(but it is almost twice the amount of money for one class. that's why i keep going back to get smacked over and over again. i'm a sucker for the money.)

flip side? the guy at rural cc said "please don't ever leave me!!!!!!" in an email to me yesterday.

uhm, no. i won't.

and the department chair at collegetown cc basically profusely thanked me for asking to do something i had the power to do on my own, but didn't want to screw up departmental expectations/future instructor's lives. 

this is why i do what i do, you know?

sorry if this seems like a whiny post.  i don't mean it to be.  i'm just battleweary a bit.  the summer has been good, but i haven't been really "off" at all since the baby was born. there might have been a week when i was.  but when i'm not teaching, i'm planning for the next set of classes.  when i'm not teaching those, i'm planning for the next set or i have a quick 5 weeker in there. 

i know this is real life, and adulthood, and mommyhood, and i am grateful for all of these things. we are richly blessed (i'm not unaware of the fact that my constant teaching = financial blessings and security and the ability to pay off debts). 

so i'll take a cute baby and a cute husband and a blessed life and believe that i will just have the energy and ability to do what i need to do when i need to do it. 

and there's the baby.  45 minutes. right on the nose.

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