so, sometimes i think i'm not a very nice person. i mean, sometimes it's hard for me to let things go and sometimes really random things make me sort of nuts. sometimes i think i should like people more or be kinder to people or be more generous with my heart to the whole world.
but sometimes that seems very hard and i get very caught up in my own world and my own challenges and problems.
but then sometimes i find that, where once there might have been anger and bitterness or even, when that was gone, just awkwardness and feeling strangely, instead there is just a first reaction of excitement and joy for someone else's journey. regardless of the water under the metaphorical bridge, i'm just jump-up-and-down excited for someone else's happiness.
that makes me happy. that makes me think that maybe, just maybe, i'm an okay person after all. maybe i'm not grinchly in my heart at all, but maybe i'm actually the kind of generous that i want to be.
some days, anyways. and that's a nice feeling.