Wednesday, July 14, 2010

ride the wave, man. ride the wave.

we went for frozen yogurt/low calorie ice cream tonight before dinner but after our church responsibilities because i had a coupon that was expiring in two weeks but mainly just because i wanted to, and we saw someone that i used to know way back when when i was single and in the different ward.

we proceeded to have what i consider to be one of the most awkward conversations i've had in a good long while.

you should know that i have inherited my dear mimi's ability to talk to almost anyone, so the whole time we were talking (probably three minutes total) i kept trying to ask questions that would cut the awkward.  i think this person is awkward in general, or that i read her facial expressions and lack of eye contact as her feeling awkward, but attempts just didn't work.

and i got in the car and felt a crushing sense of sadness.  i told musicboy that i just don't think we have any friends, and that it makes me sad.

and then i teared up.

THIS PERSON WAS NOT MY FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE.  acquaintance, yes. but we never hung out. i didn't run in the same circles.  i hate to say it, because i don't want it to sound cavalier or unfeeling, but i didn't ever really feel the loss of this person in my life. that's not to say i don't think nice and kind things about her, wish her well, and think she looks SLAMMIN' right now (she's lost weight and boy howdy does she look good), know how it goes.

this, in tandem with the gleeful euphoric domination of yesterday that found me cracking jokes and just feeling incredibly GOOD about things in general, tells me one thing.

the mood swings, man. i gots 'em.

readjusting my hormones?  what a ride.  it's not pretty, but at least it's an adventure.

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