Sunday, August 22, 2010

"he makes $87,456 an hour."*

according to my reputable sources**,  brett favre will be paid something like $25 million for one season if the vikings win the superbowl.

if they don't, which they won't, let's assume that he won't get a $5 or 7 million bonus.

that means that guy gets paid $18 million dollars, approximately, for 4 months worth of work.

(the parallels to my adjunct life is not escaping me, fyi.)

the standard NFL team plays 16 games a season. add one or two preseason exhibition games in there, and for every game he's making a million dollars.

so...what does that break down to? he practices every day, right? what, for like, four or six hours a day? he's brett favre, so he didn't even go to training camp. he had to be dragged back like an errant child by three of his linemen on a private jet. 

so let's say he practices four or six hours a day for five days of every week that he plays a game plus an additional two or three weeks.  that's approximately 108 hours.  let's round it up to 120, just to be generous.

the average nfl game lasts 4 hours.  so that's approximately 72 hours. let's round it up to 80 for overtime potential.

for 200 hours of work, the man is being paid 18 million dollars.  that's 90,000 an hour.

and in tonight's preseason exhibition, he got sacked like a little girl and then trotted himself off the field and stood on the sidelines. he was in the game for 4 plays.

sign me up for a job where i can be a big girl and get worshiped and paid way more than i'm worth. i'll take that job. 

pansy.  PLAY THE GAME. you're getting paid enough for it.

*i was just guessing and being an exaggerating hyperbolic complainer. then i found out i was RIGHT.  i should do this for a living.

**my source is sports radio. i am pretty sure pat o'brien said it.  i don't know the name of the show, because it's new. 


  1. That ain't nothin' compared "$100 million" Albert Haynesworth and his can't practice because it's "hot" or he has a "headache" or he "doesn't like the 3-4 defense" lame excuses. Jerk accepted his $25 million check in the spring under the assumption he'd return to practice in the summer. Then conveniently decided not to.

    Finally shows up, takes seven tries to pass the conditioning test, sits out multiple practices, and then has the guts to whine out loud about WHY THE HECK HE DIDN'T START in the pre-season game.

    But I'm not bitter about it or anything...

  2. I don't think it was 3 linemen. I could be wrong, but I think one of them was a punter, which makes it even better.