Thursday, May 17, 2012

week 25: baby t.

dear baby t,

we know your name now. we like it, and we've been using it more and more.  maggie tries to say it, and it's fairly adorable, and i like the idea that you are someone now. not that you weren't someone before, but you are who you are now. 

your name story is sort of like your sister's, but less certain. that's not to say that we don't feel sure now--because we do--but it wasn't as clear at first that your name was being chosen, or that we were being helped.  we just sort of...landed on this name and couldn't get it out of our head. we went through what must be a fairly typical process of finding a bunch of names we sort of liked, and then narrowing it down, and then narrowing it down some more, until we had about three or four. but the other three were nothing compared to your name.  and we couldn't get it out of our heads.  so we didn't. and we figured out, finally, that the reason we couldn't is because you had chosen your name.

we were the ones that were a little slow on the uptick.  forgive us, baby.  we got it now.

your name is spunky and sweet, graceful and powerful.  it has room for astrophysics or for cake design, for being a lawyer or being a mom or being all of those things if you so choose. that's important to me--that you can walk into any interview anywhere and be taken seriously. we even asked grandma tutu what she thought of our short list. "would you give them an interview?" we asked. and she answered honestly. and that was good.

you kick a lot and move even more.  you seem to like sugar, but i think mainly you're like me--you're a person who needs to eat frequently, and you like it when you do.  you started to kick tonight as i was putting maggie to bed, when i was singing.  that was sweet. i like to think it's because you heard my singing and liked it. maybe it's because maggie was on my lap and you wanted all of it to yourself. who knows? but i liked it. pretty soon, i think maggie's going to figure out that she's being kicked by you. 

hopefully that won't be the beginning of sibling rivalry.

i think of all that i did for maggie's pregnancy and what i haven't done for yours, and i feel a bit badly about it. i only have like three pictures of my belly.  i am not recording every little thing.  but i am still invested, baby girl, and i'm still planning. i'm still working and i'm still trying. 

thanks for being patient. i promise you, somehow, i will figure out how to be a good mom to both of you. there may be bumps in the road, but i hope you know how loved and wanted you are.  we are very excited to welcome you to our family.

keep cooking for a while yet, though. we're not ready for you quite yet.


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