oh hey.

did you know i was pregnant?

i never forget, per se, but it's amazing how much stuff you DON'T freak out about/read about online/research into oblivion when you, you know, have done it before and have a kid on the cusp of being 1 (and already being awesome) running around.

but for the past few nights, i've been feeling flutters. i felt them way early on, and then a kick, but then they sort of went away. that freaked me out a little bit (but nothing like it did with maggie). so i'm glad to have Baby Bean communicating, even just a little bit and every once in a while. i know it will get progressively more and more. i'm glad.  i think i'm ready to figure out who this kid is.

i don't know what i think about being the mom of two. sometimes i think i'm already giving this kid the shaft, because i just don't think about the bean that much during the day. my husband says it's because my body has got it covered and i don't have enough time or energy to worry about it too.  he's right, i guess, but i wonder what it's going to be like to have two kids under 2 and a husband who is student teaching. oh, and me teaching too.

big fun, i'm guessing.

but, as my mom always says, you can do anything for [insert amount of time here]. so i can do anything until musicboy graduates.  if that means not sleeping much and showering less, i guess that's what we'll do. 

i have to have faith, though, that all will be well. will it be hard? heck yes. but nothing good isn't hard.  it's all hard because it's all growth. i think, for whatever reason, i just have a lot of growing to do in a short period of time. 

that's okay. 

remind me that i said this in six months, okay? i may have forgotten by then.